Analysis and commentary on Apple and AAPL market performance by Tommo_UK
A Parody on the Apple’s Neo’s components—old antiquated junk, hits the mark in this hysterical take down of the Neo which despite its humour, is spot on in the facts. Shame he didn’t go as far as naming the real price of the Neo outside of the US - $1000 equivalent in the EU/UK and $1400 Brazil.
The MacBook Neo may sell well, but that is not the same as being a good product. Beneath the cheerful colours and low headline price sits a more serious story about deliberate compromise, product segmentation, and Apple’s growing preference for control over user choice.
Apple’s rumoured $3000 foldable isn’t innovation so much as more unecessary iteration. After Vision Pro, Apple appears to be saying yes to another product that confuses technical possibility with user need. When self-restraint disappears, even great companies forget what their core product is for.
Jobs - the leader who vowed to go thermonuclear on Google’s Android, was replaced by a leader who now peddles the snake oil of “collaboration” as a strategy. Two quotes, two eras – and one culture that traded conviction for cowardice. Tim’s goose is now cooked by his own Greek tragedy of errors.
Apple just delivered another record quarter on the back of Jobs‑era hardware and services, yet still chose to rent Google’s Gemini for AI rather than ship its own, exposing a 15‑year failure to turn Siri and its vast device base into a genuine intelligence platform.
Tim of Oz pulls buyback and Gemini‑rent levers behind a curtain. Federighi meditates serenely amid failed “Siri 2.0” and “Intelligence” promises, and Safety-First Ternus, new“Product Bro”, stalks centre stage. Fifteen years of compounded strategic errors, finally come home to roost in 2026. #NotNeo
My Take: Apple’s Next Big Risk Isn’t AVP. It’s making John Ternus CEO. Nice Guy, Wrong Job.. But with misses in mixed reality, AI, smart home, autonomy and the iPhone Air, he’s the wrong leader for a company that’s arguably lost an edge. Apple needs fresh vision, not a hardware continuity candidate.
Apple enters 2026 priced on promises. There’s no progress. AI is still “next year,” AVP is already a value write-down, and the stock has barely beaten inflation in twelve months. Strip out the hopium and the 5-year chart tells a quieter, more uncomfortable story near term. Today: $256 @ the open.
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LinkedIn’s AI “thought leaders” are multiplying like MLM recruits - all hype, zero insight frantic self-promotion. While they chase dopamine metrics, Apple sits silent, plotting 2026. This is what happens when the loudest voices in AI peddle fiction instead of offering insight.
At $272, Apple is being valued on an AI revival and a foldable that exists largely in rumour and analyst imagination. This piece explains why today’s narrative misreads Apple’s past decisions, misunderstands its current structure, and overstates what can realistically arrive next.
The Official “virtual twin” of Mark Gurman citing Tommo_UK as the mind behind Mark’s Apple analysis wasn’t on my 2025 bingo card. No satire here, just a screenshot doing all the work. Sometimes the truth lands funnier than parody.
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You didn’t ask. It just knew. Because it’s been learning — not just from your words, but from you. Not Apple. Not Siri, but SenseOS - the AI Apple could and should have launched a year ago at WWDC2024, but didn’t. How about ‘25?